suting msn me today. she asked me how i m feeling.

i decided to call her and chat a bit.

oh man.. you know what she asked me?

MEISHAN! why is your life so screwed now?

haha. this is super funny can! are you guys all cheated by this little blog here?

i just wanna you all to SAYANG me more so i always act emo-mo-mo and drama-ma-ma! :)

okay.i admit my life is pretty screwed. but not as bad as what you all think la.

just a bit badder (is there such a word???) than the past.

but so what? things are a bit badder but meishan is much stronger.

as i always said, this blog is a place for me to vent my anger. For me,

to be emo-mo-mo.

to be drama-ma-ma.

BUT not for me,

to be ya ya pa-pa-ya!!!

so dear friends, don't worry about me okay?

meishan is fine. (i m really not acting strong here)

if i m not okay, i sure will grumble one.

(just like how i grumbled to kester and yunling abt the first ever office politics i kanna)

in these 6 months of me being in

1. a transition stage from a student to an employee

2. a transition stage from being single to someone's gf to being single again

i learnt many things. or shld i say, i finally discovered how ugly humans can be. 

who the hell cares abt your sincere heart. no one give a f*cking damn shit abt you.

i used to detest the saying that humans are all selfish beings. 

becuz i don't wanna believe that.

but now, i detest it even more.

i detest it cuz WHY DIDN'T I LEARN AND ACCEPT THAT FACT EARLIER???

super disappointed abt YOU. YOU and YOU. 

maybe YOU will never read it.

maybe YOU are the one reading it now and guessing if YOU are the one.

maybe YOU are already cursing me.

maybe YOU are denying it.

maybe YOU don't know even know it's YOU.

so do YOU think i m talking about YOU?

well, only YOU know the answer.

don't be afraid if your conscience is clear.

haha! i guess i m having the last laugh now.

why are YOU worried that it's YOU?

cuz if YOU know me well, 

i am always being sincere and that is why i USED to be so vulnerable.

i am always being truthful to everyone and that is why i USED to be so weak.

i am always having lots of faith in everyone and that is why i USED to be the one getting hurt.

i never knew how to be angry with YOU, YOU, YOU.....................

but trust me.

that was all in the past.

Alrights, disappointment aside.

CAN I BE YA YA PAPAYA NOW? RIGHT HERE! RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT?

i hit my target!!!!! 50k!! like finally finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i super love myself:)

3 cheers for meishan. HIP HIP! HORRAY!

i can't hear you!

i m sure you can do better!

louder!

thanks! :)

thanks for all your concern my friends.

i really appreciate that to the max.

i will strive harder this month.

and one last thing to be ya ya papaya about,

i am glad that i have YOU, YOU, YOU.... in my life.

my family. my sec friends. my lugees, my sim friends and my darlings:)

MEISHAN STILL LOVES YOU ALL WITH A SINCERE HEART TILL THE END.